Let's Get Talking!

J's Story

On my return to South Africa, after living in Indonesia for a while whilst my husband was on contract, we bought a house and settled down.

Life was really great, then as life so often does, along came a great big wake up call. On having a blood test I discovered I was HIV positive. What a shock. My youngest daughter was with me when I received the news, my Doctor at the time did not want to accept the results as the only way I could have been infected was medically. So, there I was comforting my Doctor, who wanted to do test after test after test; I put a stop to that and said “no- more”. I then went to see a lovely person called Lauren, she helped me so much, my whole family ended up seeing her over the following weeks.

One thing that stuck in my mind was an article on one of the American HIV websites, the first line said ‘you are not alone’. Well, living in Africa I knew I wasn’t, even so I had never met another person who was HIV Positive; mainly because I don’t seem to fit into the general idea or concept that people have heard of someone who is HIV positive. If I had money for every time someone told me “but you are not the norm” I would be really quite rich. You see I am a white woman, at present almost 65 years old; I was 57 when I discovered that I was HIV positive.

I had quite a hard time telling people at first. One of my worst memories is when I had to tell my dentist. I laugh about it now but at the time it was a major thing for me. He quietly told me not to worry he would take care of me and himself; I had been through all that drama for nothing.

I soon had a very good support team around me who I could not have done without; it is great to have a shoulder, but also someone to laugh with over the whole story.

We returned to the UK two years ago. I was so disappointed to find no one talks about HIV or AIDS. Why, can you tell me? AIDS is still out there and people are still infected. I find it very worrying. The support is there, and I think that these great people who give us so much must feel as if they are walking into a brick wall.

So come on, talk about it, and all you people out there who have the honour of being told by someone you meet or someone you know that they are HIV positive, remember it is not easy talking about something so hush hush. A hug, a squeeze of the hand, a smile, means so much, as much as a thousand words.